Some Thoughts

I have a lot on my mind right now, and just need to write it down, so sorry if I don't make sense!! I like to have a plan, and be in control. I get anxious when I don't know what's going on, or don't have a plan. Unfortunately it is impossible to ALWAYS be in control of my situation, which trips me up a lot! I make plans in my mind for how my life is going to go and sometimes forget that the Lord has the final say!

For example, children...I "knew" when I wanted to get pregnant and how far apart I wanted my kids, etc. BUT, the Lord knows better than me and our kids have came at the perfect time in our lives. If they would have come when I wanted them to, I wouldn't have been ready or it wouldn't have been the best time. So you'd think that I would remember this, but yet again I have made a plan for my life about kids, and haven't put my trust in the Lord that he knows best.

When we found out that Travis was getting deployed, one of my thoughts was when to have our next child, and I came to the conclusion that we needed to get pregnant again before he left so that there wouldn't be a big gap between Chloee and our next child. Well over the past couple of months I have let this affect me, and have stressed and worried about getting pregnant again, which has kind of negatively affected a lot of aspects of my life.

Well anyways, I am NOT pregnant, and so I have decided to make some changes that will hopefully make me happier now and in the future as we keep trying to get pregnant. I realized today that maybe we aren't meant to get pregnant before Travis leaves, and maybe we are meant to have a big gap between our kids, and THAT'S OK!!! OR maybe I WILL get pregnant in the coming months and that will be OK too!!

I can't decide when I get pregnant, I can only do my part (which is the fun part I might add!!) and put my trust in the Lord that he knows best and that what is meant to be will happen. I am glad that I had this realization again today, it wasn't anything new, but it was nice to be reminded to have faith in the Lord. He loves us all so much, and knows what we need, and that is SO wonderful!